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Commentary:
"Looks like someone cranked up the dial on the snooze button to 'extra-strength' mode! 😴🚀 Must be that top-secret Chinese coffee substitute they're using. ☕️🇨🇳"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

1 month ago

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You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

1 month ago

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Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

2 months ago

comfort, having, humor, loneliness, realization, realize, room, sing, singing, sleep, someone
You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

1 month ago

able, bar, conversation, event, Google, humor, last, memory, night, said, should, social, social event, someone
Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

2 days ago

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I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

1 month ago

away, door, front, humor, i, joke, keep, money, paycheck, picture, prank, solicitors

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

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So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I just refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good to watch.

Going viral on X:

Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Seen just now on Threads:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

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Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

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Activity Log ✨

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

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Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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