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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Just landed via Telegram:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Going viral on YouTube:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Just shared via YouTube:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Just shared via Snapchat:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Spotted on Reddit:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Funny bio quotes

Funny bio quotes are the perfect way to showcase your personality with a splash of humor 😄✨ Whether you want to make friends laugh, break the ice, or simply stand out in the crowd, a witty bio can do the trick 🎉🔥 Get ready to turn heads and spark smiles with clever lines that make your profile unforgettable 💬💥 Let’s add some fun vibes to your online presence! 🚀😜

New funny bio quotes 👇

All funny bio quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on TikTok this month:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

88 shares on Discord this month:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

60 shares on Discord this month:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

52 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes the laugh is funnier than the joke itself.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Release that sexual frustration, get a burger.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

60 shares on Discord this month:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I was not meant to work a job; I was meant to lay down and ponder.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

And for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Live now on YouTube:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Going viral on Threads:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Not really interested in anything that isn’t everything.

Live now on Reddit:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

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