Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Today, I changed a light bulb and walked into a bar. My life is a joke.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

41 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,310

Funny Quotes Topics

17,437

Funny Quotes Images

15,310

Jan 2, 2026

3,632

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Trending via Discord:

I don’t get vegetables on my pizza because I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Spotted on WeChat:

My fitness goal is to lose two straight jacket sizes.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Spotted on X:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Shared recently on Telegram:

This is the fastest December in the history of all December.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

34 Funny black quotes

Funny black quotes bring the perfect blend of humor and culture 🌟✨, celebrating wit with a splash of sass and soul 🎤🔥. Get ready to laugh out loud 😂, smile wide 😄, and embrace the joy that comes from clever, relatable vibes 🎉💬. Whether you need a quick pick-me-up or some share-worthy content, these gems will keep the good times rolling! 🚀💯

New funny black quotes 👇

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

0

4 weeks ago

black, Black Friday, extension, Friday, humor, oh, sale, sarcasm, shopping, Tuesday
I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

0

1 month ago

before, black, Black Friday, consumer, deal, deals, discount, Friday, humor, i, item, just, love, price, sale, shopping, tariff, tariffs, year
Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

0

1 month ago

2, 5, actually, am, awesome, bedtime, black, couple, cozy, evening, feels, humor, movie, night, only, perception, pitch, put, reality, staying, super, time, time perception, winter
Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

0

2 months ago

big, black, Black Friday, consumerism, Friday, grocery, humor, put, sale, shopping, TV, TVs
People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

0

2 months ago

attire, attitude, black, black attire, fashion, humor, people, people pleasing, pleasing, well
I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

0

2 months ago

abstract, abstract art, art, black, black shirt, deodorant, every, humor, i, lot, self-deprecation, shirt, shit, someone, talk
Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, black, fashion, hair, humor, i, love, outfit, pet, pet hair, sarcasm
I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

0

2 months ago

black, Black Eyed Peas, eyed, favorite, favorite part, feeling, got, humor, i, i’ve, I’ve Got a Feeling, just, lyric, mazel, Mazel Tov, music, music preference, peas, preference, sarcasm, say, song, tov, where
Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

0

2 months ago

black, black hole, bro, energy, hole, humor, joke, light, nerd, nerd humor, physics, physics humor, science, science joke, suck
Your honor, I have a role to play as the black sheep of the family.

0

2 months ago

black, black sheep, family, honor, humor, i, identity, play, role, sarcasm, sheep

For even more funny black quotes, hit next 👇

All funny black quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

58 shares on Threads this month:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love all the Winter Olympic events, sliding downhill on a piece of wood, sliding downhill on two pieces of wood, sliding downhill in a piece of wood. All amazing.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

10 shares on Discord this month:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

44 shares on Threads this month:

You’ll be having a good day and then someone your age says they’re buying a house.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I speak for everyone when I say that finding the balance between watching movies, watching TV shows, and playing video games is harder than any job.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

41 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,310

Funny Quotes Topics

17,437

Funny Quotes Images

15,310

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I forgot how to panic. Help!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

They should invent a brain that doesn’t whisper bad things to you.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Cleaning a house with children in it is like shoveling snow on the North Pole.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Making waves on WeChat:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Making waves on YouTube:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Going viral on Twitch:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Breaking via Threads:

Cheeseburgers should be free for anyone that’s in a bad mood.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Just landed via Reddit:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Making waves on X:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴