Wordgag ツ

8,000+ funny quotes
humor
irony
relationship
just
joke
life
food
people
time
social
activity
sarcasm
communication
love
work
know
procrastination
technology
want
someone
parenting
need
think
sleep
never
self-deprecation
family

18 Funny black quotes

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

4 weeks ago

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

4 weeks ago

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

2 months ago

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

3 months ago

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

3 months ago

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

3 months ago

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

3 months ago

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

3 months ago

It’s almost time to pack away the black summer clothes and unpack the black winter clothes.

3 months ago

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

3 months ago

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

3 months ago

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

3 months ago

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

3 months ago

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

3 months ago

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

3 months ago

When you turn 50, they change the lightbulb in your fridge to that memory eraser from Men in Black.

3 months ago

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

3 months ago

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

3 months ago