Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Commentary:
Oh, the pun-tastic potential of blending family dynamics with fancy French phrases! 😄🇫🇷 It's certainly a faux pas not to appreciate the humor in our everyday relationships. Step aside, stepdad, here comes the faux pas with all its accidental charm! 😉 #DadJokeGoals
6 months ago
Share →: You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.

Commentary:
"Sorry boss, can't make it to work today. My partner's cozy cuddles have activated maximum 'stay in bed' mode 😴🛌 #priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Commentary:
"No worries, my phone has a mind of its own! 📱😅 Next time, maybe I'll try the 'accidentally drop the phone in a pillow fort' technique for a more believable excuse. 💁‍♂️🏰"
6 months ago
Share →: You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Commentary:
"Who needs a phone call when you can document your epic adventure in jail with a sassy IG story? 💁🏻‍♂️📸 #Cellfie #ArrestGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Commentary:
"Those poor ghosts, no caller ID to screen out pesky spirits dialing in from the other side! 👻☎️ Better hope they don't leave a voicemail asking for help with their haunting issues!"
6 months ago
Share →: Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the ultimate test of patience: being on hold and reminded that your call is *so* important to them… Must be their way of saying, 'Please hold for eternity.' 🕰️🤣 #ImportantCallVibes"
6 months ago
Share →: Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the modern ritual of making grown men pucker up for a steamy smooch with their trusty camera on Facetime 📸💋. Who needs cupid's arrow when technology can make hearts flutter at the touch of a button? #CameraKisses"
6 months ago
Share →: A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's got a craving for more than just vibrations! 😏 Maybe investing in a smart speaker that doubles as a compliment machine could do the trick? 🤖💬 #Priorities 🤣"
6 months ago
Share →: Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

Commentary:
Looks like February was quite the musical journey for you, from dribbling to the beat of basketballs to screaming into a watermelon loudspeaker while on a phone call! 🏀🍉📢 Maybe next time the hip hop moment will involve less fruit and more rhythm! 🎶😄
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Commentary:
Oh, the age-old question of exes – the all too familiar "whys" that linger in our minds like a never-ending game of mental gymnastics 🤔💔 From pondering why it didn't work out to why they thought pineapple belonged on pizza, exes always leave us questioning life's mysteries! 😂 #ExFiles #WhysBeforeGuys