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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore, I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I went to clean bathroom and I’m 99% sure my kids shoot their toothpaste out of a cannon.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

3 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Making waves on Reddit:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Trending via Instagram:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Home » Funny Cashier Quotes

Funny cashier quotes

Funny cashier quotes bring a smile to your face while scanning your groceries! 🛒😂 Whether it’s clever comebacks or witty observations from behind the register, these gems capture the everyday hustle with a splash of humor. From beep-beep battles to unexpected customer moments, get ready to laugh out loud and appreciate the cashier life like never before! 💳🤣 #CheckoutChuckles

New funny cashier quotes 👇

11 hours ago
Share →: If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Commentary:
Looks like self-checkouts missed the memo on giving us a discount! 🤔💸🛒
2 weeks ago
Share →: I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Commentary:
"Karen, if I had that skill, I'd be at Gucci, not grabbing bargains at the Dollar Tree! 👜💰😂"
3 weeks ago
Share →: The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Commentary:
"Guess I should have said 'Thanks, I'll try!' 😂🛒✨"
5 months ago
Share →: I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like that self-checkout experience was more like a self-checkout disaster! Who knew a machine could be so rude and impatient? Looks like you'll be sticking to the good old human cashiers for now.
6 months ago
Share →: Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Commentary:
"Good morning to everyone except for the monologuing customers turning the supermarket checkout into their personal podcast studio. 🤐🎤 #CashierIsNotYourTherapist"
6 months ago
Share →: Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Commentary:
Cashier: Did you find everything? 🛒

Me: Did you hide something? 🤔💸

Looks like my shopping skills are on point! 😉 #shoppingadventures
6 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Commentary:
"Looks like the scanner isn't the only one checking you out! 😉💳 Better watch out for those beeping hearts at the checkout counter! ❤️🛒 #SmoothOperator"

For even more funny cashier quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny cashier quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1833 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,995

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,995

3 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

At least men and women can agree on one thing: it feels amazing to take a bra off.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Lovingly looking at my dog knowing I’m about to ruin her day with a bath.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on LinkedIn:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Live now on Discord:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Making waves on Telegram:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Just landed via Messenger:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Shared recently on X:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Just shared via Reddit:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Just shared via Slack:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

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