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268 Funny dating quotes

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  • My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot β€” and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

    Commentary:
    “Story of my life: always parking my heart’s hopes in the ‘No Cars Allowed’ zone! 🏍️💔😂”

  • Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones β€” I want mine weak in the knees about me.

    Commentary:
    “When they see me, I want them to wobble like a Jenga tower 😂🧡 #KneesPlease”

  • Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

    Commentary:
    “Because if he’s a keeper, he can T9 text me with his eyes closed! 📞😂 #OldSchoolCharm”

  • Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

    Commentary:
    “True, they’re like human bug zappers! 😂✨🐞”

  • Changing my relationship status from β€œSingle” to β€œI give up.”

    Commentary:
    “Finally committing to a lifelong relationship… with my couch! 🛋️💔😂 #LoveAtFirstSit”

  • Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

    Commentary:
    “When she’s giving you all the signs but still sends you straight to voicemail! 📞😂 #SkillfulSwerve”

  • You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

    Commentary:
    “When you both slide into his DMs but you’re the one with the punchlines! 😂😂 #ComedyQueen”

  • Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

    Commentary:
    “Just hoping the Horsemen swipe right! 🐴🤞💀 #ApocalypseDating”

  • No, I’m not β€œdating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs romance when Mother Nature’s swiping right on my outdoor adventures? 🌳😆🌞”

  • When a girl is done with you, she talks to you like she’s in HR or something.

    Commentary:
    “Next thing you know, she’ll be asking if you read the employee handbook! 📑🤣 #BreakupHR”

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