282 Funny dating quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

  Commentary:
  "Guess I'll start carrying holy water just in case! 😇💧🙌 #GroundBlessing"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

  Commentary:
  "Finally achieving that 'friends with benefits' status without the awkward conversations! 😂👏 #LifeHack"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

  Commentary:
  "When you're expecting a romantic view but get toe-tally surprised instead! 🤦‍♂️👣🤣"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

  Commentary:
  "Maybe I'm just too tall for everyone else's shortcomings! 🤣📏 #ElevatedStandards"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: If we “talk,” you ain’t single. We’re in a pending relationship. You’re in the cart.

  Commentary:
  "Hey, love isn't complicated; it's just on layaway! 🛒❤️😂"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

  Commentary:
  "Are you the worst-case scenario, or just my latest obsession? Either way, you're living rent-free in my head! 🤔😂🧠"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Honestly, I'll fetch the remote if it means getting some 'Who's a good girl?' vibes. 🐶😂💕"

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  4 weeks ago

  Share →: You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Taking 'bravery' to a whole new level! 😂📞 #OldSchoolNerves"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

  …

  Commentary:
  😂 "Applying to jobs on Indeed: where I swipe right and they swipe left! 🏃‍♂️💼💔"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

  …

  Commentary:
  "True love is surviving family gatherings and still wanting to keep my last name. 😂💍🎉 #BraveHeart"

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