Funny everyday humor quotes

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  7 days ago

  Share →: Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

  Commentary:
  When you're on the throne but forgot your crown 👑🚽🤣

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  1 week ago

  Share →: Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

  Commentary:
  When you find out that your neighbors have been decluttering, not downsizing their trash cans 😂🗑️🚗

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

  Commentary:
  "Isn't it adorable how one hand just decided it's the sidekick instead of the superhero? 😂✋🦸‍♂️"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

  Commentary:
  "BRB, off to invent the SPF 100 toddler wrangle-proof sunscreen! 😅👶🧴 #MissionImpossible"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: When I say “the other day”, it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the infamous "other day" — basically the RSVP of time references! 🎉🗓️ It's like saying "soon" or "let’s do it sometime," which really means "whenever I remember or feel like it." 😂 So next time someone drops the "other day" bomb, just prepare for a timeline that stretches from yesterday to the dawn of humanity! 🕰️⏳ Talk about a flexible schedule!

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