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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

Going bananas on X:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Going viral on X:

Coffee and more coffee is a perfect combo.

Going bananas on Discord:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Shared recently on X:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Shared recently on WeChat:

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

Just landed via Telegram:

Why the hell did they name them ‘Soldier ants’ and not ‘Combatants’?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Spotted on Twitch:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Just shared via Telegram:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

61 Funny Friday quotes

Funny Friday quotes capture the excitement and humor of the end of the workweek! 🎉😂 From witty remarks about the anticipation of the weekend to playful takes on Friday’s unique vibe, these quotes celebrate the joy of finally reaching the end of the week. Enjoy a laugh and kick off your weekend with a smile! 😄🍹

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All funny Friday quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

77 shares on X this month:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

How do you tell someone that you will probably end up marrying them, but in a casual way?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

In the 80s, you could literally shrink your kids with a shrink-ray, and your wife wouldn’t divorce you. I’m pretty sure I saw a documentary film about it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Only a fool would use the toothbrush the dentist gives you. You think the dentist would freely hand you the tools that would keep them away?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Just landed via Threads:

Someone at work is gonna suggest you download Outlook and Teams on your phone, and it’s very important that you don’t listen to them.

Going bananas on Slack:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

Breaking via Snapchat:

The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Going viral on Instagram:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Just shared via Threads:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Just landed via WeChat:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Just shared via YouTube:

The females who don’t go through phones will definitely find out through dreams.

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