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Defying the laws of age one nap at a time! 😂🕺🥳
405 Funny good quotes
ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.
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Master of random skills, professional procrastinator extraordinaire! 🤹♂️🧘♂️📅💥
The best thing about dogs is you can act like something really good just happened, and they’ll instantly start celebrating too. They have no idea what the context is; they’re just always ready to party, no matter what.
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When your dog is the ultimate hype buddy and thinks every day is a surprise birthday party! 🎉🐶🎈
It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.
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I tried being both attractive and talented, but the universe said "Pick a struggle" 😅🌎✨
Twitter account so good even HR wants to see it.
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Guess my tweets are now considered "professional development" material 😂📈 #HRGoals
But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?
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Hmm, sounds like someone's ideal partner is a bag of chips and a Netflix binge 🍟📺🤔
Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.
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Guess my plans for the weekend involve escaping this existential dilemma 😂🍿🤔
Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.
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Just joined the "zero cares" club, where every day's a holiday and the dress code is PJs! 😂🎉🛋️
I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.
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Sounds like my car might qualify for a gym membership with all that speeding and stopping! 🚗💨🛑😅
Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.
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Looks like starting a wildlife diner is the secret to happiness! 🐦🍼🐿️