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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I spend half the day wondering if it’s too late for coffee and the other half wondering if it’s too early for alcohol.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

My superpower is giving you the middle finger using my eyes only.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

Just landed via X:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Going viral on X:

Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?

Going bananas on TikTok:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Making waves on Twitch:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I may be a chaotic mess, but then so is quantum physics.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I’ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, I’m telling your mom.

Funny guardian quotes

Funny guardian quotes bring a smile to anyone watching over loved ones with a dash of humor 😄🛡️ Whether it’s witty wisdom or playful reminders, these gems capture the lighter side of guardianship 🧡 From silly struggles to heartfelt laughs, they prove that protecting and caring can be downright entertaining 😂✨ Ready for some chuckles and guardian giggles? Let’s dive in! 🎉👀

New funny guardian quotes 👇

All funny guardian quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

23 shares on Discord this month:

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

217 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,486

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,486

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,659

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

At the beginning of a relationship, people call their partner’s odd behavior “cute little quirks”. Some years later, the police call it “motive”.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I have a question and my question is, how can I look so cute in the mirror but like such a baked potato in pictures?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

When life closes a door, just open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Going viral on Threads:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Making waves on TikTok:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Just landed via YouTube:

Ghosting is disrespectful unless it’s me doing it.

Making waves on Facebook:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Spotted on TikTok:

Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

Spotted on Telegram:

One of my biggest faults is that when I ask someone their name, I forget to listen to what their name is.

Trending via TikTok:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

There’s two sides to every story, and then there’s these screenshots I got.

Just shared via Reddit:

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

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