82 Funny guy quotes

Trending Funny Guy Quotes 🔥

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”
Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.
If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”
To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

More funny guy quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Commentary:
"Ah, the inventor of archery had quite the direct approach to conflict resolution! 🏹😄 Seems like 'stabbing' was the original inspiration for the bow and arrow! 🎯😆"
5 months ago
Share →: You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for the perfect hot dog at a baseball game! 🌭🎶 Just imagine me, belting out 'hot dogs! hot dogs!' like a culinary symphony conductor in the stands. 🌭🎵 Who needs peanuts and cracker jacks when you've got a serious hot dog mission to fulfill?"
5 months ago
Share →: I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Commentary:
"French fries: the unsung hero of relationships. 🍟💔 Next time, make sure to swipe right for someone who respects your fried potato boundaries! #frenchfrylove"
5 months ago
Share →: You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Commentary:
Well, seriously, common sense Gandalf, where were you when they were crafting that "one ring to rule them all"? 🧙‍♂️ Let's not make jewelry decisions with world domination potential, folks! 💍😂
5 months ago
Share →: How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of official job title skepticism! 🕵️‍♂️ Maybe your 'boss' is just a really convincing cosplayer? 🤔 Remember, anyone can claim to be a boss, but leading with style and influence is what truly makes you the boss! 💼💪"
5 months ago
Share →: Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Commentary:
"Who needs a bed when you have a burrito guy who's also a pro tucker? 🌯💤 Just imagine the ultimate bedtime routine: burrito delivery, tuck-in service, and maybe a side of salsa for those spicy dreams! 🌶️😄 #SleepGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Commentary:
Oh, you know the guy was on a whole new level of pizza-loving inspiration when he invented those heroes in a half shell! 🍕🐢 Probably had a vision of radioactive ooze and martial arts skills mixed with a side of extreme caffeine boost! 🐢💥 Just another day in the wild world of creativity, right? 🎨
5 months ago
Share →: Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Commentary:
"Freddie Krueger definitely knows how to keep it light and breezy, especially considering his…uh, unique line of work! 😅 Who knew a name preference could be the key to showcasing your fun-loving side amidst all the slashing and dashing? 🔪😄 #FreddieVsFred"
5 months ago
Share →: Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Commentary:
"Looks like they found a new favorite flavor of the month! 🕵️‍♂️🔄 Next time, remember to stand out like a unicorn in a field of horses! 🦄🔍"
5 months ago
Share →: I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Commentary:
"Seems like the wolf decided to try a new disguise and went straight for grandma chic! 🐺👵 Who knew the big bad wolf had a flair for fashion? Just remember, not all grandma look-alikes bake cookies, some might just be plotting to huff and puff! 🍪💨"