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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Every Microsoft Teams invite you get lowers your testosterone by 1-2%

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,517

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Making waves on Facebook:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Seen just now on WeChat:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Just landed via YouTube:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Going viral on X:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Live now on TikTok:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Spotted on Reddit:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

186 Funny honesty quotes

More funny honesty quotes 👇

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

6 days ago

hate, honesty, humor, i, insult, liar, only, sarcasm, stupid, stupidity, thing
Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

6 days ago

advice, confession, honesty, humor, life, mom, relationship, short, tell, too
School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

6 days ago

anyone, friendship, gathering, honesty, humor, just, know, life, life success, missing, nobody, nostalgia, reunion, scam, school, school reunion, social, social gathering, success, want
Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

6 days ago

awareness, communication, enough, honesty, humility, informed, matter, mindset, norm, normalize, opinion, saying, social, social norm, truth
I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

6 days ago

bedroom, domestic, domestic task, fitted, fitted sheet, help, honesty, humor, i, lie, mattress, me, put, relationship, sex, sheet, task
Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

6 days ago

actually, communication, enough, honesty, humor, i, know, knowledge, opinion, say
“Why would I lie to you?” I don’t know, maybe because you’re a liar.

6 days ago

contradiction, honesty, humor, i, know, liar, lie, maybe, sarcasm, why
I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

6 days ago

compliment, honesty, humor, i, insult, sarcasm, trust
I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

6 days ago

again, bathroom, bathroom scale, battery, change, frustration, hate, honesty, humor, i, scale, telling, truth, weight
I like to minimize the disappointment by being myself right from the start.

6 days ago

authenticity, being, disappointment, honesty, humor, i, myself, personality, right, self, start

For even more funny honesty quotes, hit next 👇

All funny honesty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

33 shares on Reddit this month:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

17 shares on Discord this month:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

17 shares on YouTube this month:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Glad I didn’t really waste any time studying international law, seeing as how it is fake and meaningless.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Anyone else smile at old people just to show that you’re one of the good ones.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Just shared via Slack:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Trending via TikTok:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Trending via Pinterest:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Activity Log ✨

186 Funny honesty quotes

More funny honesty quotes 👇

All funny honesty quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨