Commentary:
"Thinking clearly? That sounds like a premium feature I forgot to upgrade to! 😂🤔💭"
Tag Archives: 5673 Funny i quotes
I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”
Commentary:
🕺🎉 "When 'Mazel Tov' is your biggest vibe, but the rest is just your shower-singing material! 😂🎶 #SelectiveTunes"
In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.
Commentary:
"Better start with a crash course in self-defense via YouTube! 🥋🤣📚"
The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.
Commentary:
"Pretty sure my brain installed an invisible reset button at the door! 🤔🔄😂"
The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.
Commentary:
"Board games really bring out my alter ego: 'Competitive Cathy' 😈🎲 Who knew a simple game of Monopoly could cause inner monster mayhem?" 🤣🏰
Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.
Commentary:
"Enthusiasm level: 100. Motivation to get off the couch: -5 😂🛋️🙃"
Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.
Commentary:
"Oops, my giggles were smoother than my pickup lines! 😂❤️"
Women are like apples; I like biting them.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's looking for a 'core' relationship! 🍎😂"
I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.
Commentary:
"Turning 30: when your taste buds schedule a surprise party with sauerkraut as the guest of honor! 🥳🥬😂"
I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.
Commentary:
"Life motto: Treat yo'self! 🎉🍫 Because whether it's a plot twist or a happy ending, snacks are always the main character! 😄🍪"