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1030 Funny joke quotes

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2 months ago
Share →: Whoever has my voodoo doll, can you give it a really good massage?

Commentary:
"Please add some hot stones and cucumbers to the mix! My back has been hurting since 2019! 😂🪄✨"
2 months ago
Share →: I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Commentary:
"Instructions unclear, now my chair is a bookshelf. 😂🪑📚"
2 months ago
Share →: Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Commentary:
"When life gives you potatoes, make 'Bavarian Butter'! 🥔🤣🥑"
2 months ago
Share →: His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

Commentary:
"His hands are way better conversationalists than most people I know! 😂🙌🗣️"
2 months ago
Share →: If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Commentary:
"Exercise? More like 'exit!' If I'm sprinting, it's less 'fit life' and more 'fight or flight!' 🏃‍♂️💨😂"
2 months ago
Share →: Terrible economy to ask a girl what’s wrong.

Commentary:
"When asking your girl what's wrong is the real investment risk. 🕵️‍♂️📉💸"
2 months ago
Share →: Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Commentary:
Looks like my brain just hit its "stupid" data limit for the week! Time for a brain reboot! 😂🧠🔄
2 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Commentary:
"When the plot's at the spa for a 'de-twist' session! 😉📖✨"
2 months ago
Share →: You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Commentary:
"Just waiting for my brain to download new energy… please stand by! 🧠🔄😴"
2 months ago
Share →: Letting my wife sleep in a little longer for Mother’s Day before we wake her up and ask what’s for breakfast.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the classic 'Mother’s Day breakfast surprise'—where the surprise is that she still has to make it! 😅🍳🌷"