1014 Funny joke quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

  Commentary:
  "Ah yes, the one-mouse conspiracy: they just change disguises whenever we blink! 🐭🕵️‍♂️🤣"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

  Commentary:
  "Ready to dig up some fun and plant the seeds of innocence! 🕵️‍♂️🔍😂"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I’m not here to offend anyone; I’m here to offend everyone.

  Commentary:
  "When you're equal-opportunity offensive! 😂🚀 #SharingTheChaos"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

  Commentary:
  "Haunted house: Spooky fun. Structural repairs: Spooky bills! 👻🔨💸"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

  Commentary:
  "Welcome to the club! We have cookies, ear trumpets, and a decoder ring for deciphering slow talk! 🍪📣👂😂"

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

  Commentary:
  "Guess he's dunking on sin now! 🙏🏀 #HolyHighJump"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's taking 'dolling up' to a whole new level! 😂🩺🎀 #DollDrama"

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: “I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

  Commentary:
  "Next, I'm planning a heart-to-heart with my toaster—heard it gives bread-st advice! 🥯🤖😂"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

  Commentary:
  "At least he won't need a hearing aid yet! 🐶💤👴🤣"

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

  Commentary:
  "Guess my PJs are practicing social distancing from drama! 😆🛌🚫🗣️"

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