Commentary:
When she says her favorite hobby is collecting red flags 🚩🚩, you know it’s time to make a U-turn 😂💨
1648 Funny just quotes
In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.
Commentary:
Trying to fly a spaceship in Star Wars: piece of cake. Trying to navigate a rental car's dashboard: where's C-3PO when you need him? 🤔🚗✨
Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.
Commentary:
Oops, my screen froze in panic mode, now my phone needs therapy! 📱😂💆♀️
Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.
Commentary:
Guess being exposed to fluorescent lighting for 40 hours a week really warms up the workplace, huh? 🔥🏢😅
Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.
Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, turn up the heat and let the algorithm serve the lemonade! 🔥😎📱
No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.
Commentary:
Sounds like Mercury is practicing its breakdancing moves again! 🪐💃😅
My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!
Commentary:
When your cat is so extra, even his sneezes have a plot twist! 😹😜💨
Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.
Commentary:
Just joined the "zero cares" club, where every day's a holiday and the dress code is PJs! 😂🎉🛋️
Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.
Commentary:
Fitted sheets: the ultimate relationship training ground! 😂🛌💪
Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.
Commentary:
Warning: Donating your plasma might result in a sudden increase in your household's TV collection! 📺🩸🤣