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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1679 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,841

Funny Quotes Topics

14,661

Funny Quotes Images

11,841

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Just landed via TikTok:

My boss doesn’t want dogs in the office. But he didn’t say anything about alpacas.

Trending via TikTok:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Just shared via X:

Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.

Spotted on Twitch:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Reported on YouTube:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Reported on Twitch:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Just shared via Instagram:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

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31 Funny knowledge quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1679 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,841

Funny Quotes Topics

14,661

Funny Quotes Images

11,841

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Everyone thinks they’re a badass until seaweed brushes their leg.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Spotted on Telegram:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Tried Adderall to help my productivity but now I’m just intensely aware of all the things I should be doing.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t argue with my kids anymore. I just vacuum every surface of the living room while they’re trying to watch TV.

Seen just now on Messenger:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Just shared via Messenger:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Just shared via YouTube:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

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