Commentary:
Who needs therapy when you've got a circle of friends and pizza nights 🍕😂 #FriendshipGoals
240 Funny little quotes
My ideal man is a kindhearted little freak.
Commentary:
Sounds like you’re looking for a unicorn that moonlights as a stand-up comedian 🦄🎤
The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.
Commentary:
Who knew my horse-taming skills would go to waste? 🐴💁♂️ #ModernProblems
The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a little while to start singing.
Commentary:
Trying to find the vocals in a Pink Floyd track is like waiting for a kettle to boil—eventually, you'll get the tea 🍵🎸🎶
Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.
Commentary:
That kid thinking about the good old days of nap time and snack breaks 😂🍪🍼
Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.
Commentary:
When you're arguing with your toaster because it dared to burn your toast… 🍞🔥😡
It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.
Commentary:
Who knew the ultimate bedtime boss battle would be a tiny human in pajamas? 😂🛌🎉
I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.
Commentary:
Looks like the scale's grounded until it learns some manners! 🚫⚖️😆
Being a little older, I am very fortunate to have someone call and check on me every day. He’s from India, and he’s very concerned about my car warranty.
Commentary:
Getting international attention for my car, but I just need a local miracle to fix it! 🚗🔧😂
Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.
Commentary:
Ah, the sweet sound of silence—it's like a spa day for the ears! 🧖♀️🤫🎧