Funny long time quotes

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  4 months ago

  Share →: It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

  Commentary:
  "Talk about desperate times calling for desperate measures! 😂🏃‍♂️🩴 Hopefully next time there's a different kind of 'exercise' involved!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

  Commentary:
  "Being single is like having a secret superpower – the ability to binge-watch Netflix in peace and never worry about anyone judging your late-night snack choices 🍕💪 Who needs a relationship when you can have pizza and freedom all to yourself? 🍕❤️ #SingleLifeGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

  Commentary:
  "Oh no, what a shame! 📱😅 Who knew breaking your work phone could be a blessing in disguise? Now you have the perfect excuse for some peace and quiet! 🤫💼 #AccidentalSilence"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the good ol' days when Facebook was just a humble farmville before it blossomed into a bustling metropolis of cat videos and avocado toast selfies 🌾🚜🐄📱 #FlashbackFriday #SocialMediaGlowUp

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

  Commentary:
  🤣 "Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose. Let's just say 'out of sight, out of mind' isn't just an expression for me, it's a lifestyle choice! 🙈"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

  Commentary:
  "Wow, talk about commitment! It's impressive that your bad mood has withstood the test of time like a resilient warrior 😠⏳ Keep on rocking those grumpy vibes, you've definitely mastered the art of longevity in the mood department! 😂👏"

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