Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Stephen King’s It is the bone chilling story about adults who are forced to spend time with their childhood friends.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

4,080

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Just shared via TikTok:

Calling me ugly isn’t even an insult, because I know already.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

Trending via Discord:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Making waves on Reddit:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

Breaking via Telegram:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Funny long time quotes

Funny long time quotes are the perfect way to bring a smile 😄 to those moments when time feels like it’s dragging forever ⏳. Whether you’re waiting for a friend or stuck in a never-ending meeting, these witty lines add a sprinkle of humor 🌟 to the wait. Ready to laugh through the long haul? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on the concept of time that’ll keep you entertained! 😂⏰

New funny long time quotes 👇

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

0

2 months ago

afterlife, bathroom, burial, death, humor, long time, me, pee, still, sure, time
I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

0

2 months ago

5, day, exaggeration, having, humor, life, life struggle, long time, rough, rough day, sarcasm, struggle, time
It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward situation, exercise, humor, i, jogging, last, long time, sex, situation, time
Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

0

2 months ago

exhausting, humor, long time, once, realization, realize, relationships, single, time
Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

0

2 months ago

ago, broke, communication, done, frustration, humor, i, long time, phone, should, talk, technology, time, work, work phone
I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

0

2 months ago

age, change, digital, digital age, Facebook, farmland, i, long time, media, memory, nostalgia, remember, social, social media, time, used
Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, conversation, friends, funny response, humor, i, long time, me, purpose, response, seen, social, time
I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

0

2 months ago

2010, bad, bad mood, humor, long time, mood, negativity, period, sarcasm, time, time period

All funny long time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

43 shares on Telegram this month:

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s nothing like sitting by an open fire and watching the evidence burn.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

84 shares on Slack this month:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

13 shares on Threads this month:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If history is repeating itself, when can I buy a pet dinosaur?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,026

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Accidentally became important at work and it’s ruining my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Live now on WhatsApp:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Just shared via Snapchat:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Shared recently on Slack:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Going viral on Facebook:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

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