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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Work from home is all fun and games until you lose grip on reality.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,962

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,962

3 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Going viral on X:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Just shared via Telegram:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Trending via Discord:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Making waves on WeChat:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

Just shared via Reddit:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Home » Funny Long Time Quotes

Funny long time quotes

Funny long time quotes are the perfect way to bring a smile 😄 to those moments when time feels like it’s dragging forever ⏳. Whether you’re waiting for a friend or stuck in a never-ending meeting, these witty lines add a sprinkle of humor 🌟 to the wait. Ready to laugh through the long haul? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on the concept of time that’ll keep you entertained! 😂⏰

New funny long time quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Commentary:
Finally, a valid reason to haunt the living: bathroom breaks! 🚽👻
5 days ago
Share →: I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Commentary:
Sounds like you're mastering the art of "Long-term Chaos Management" 😂🔧📅
5 months ago
Share →: It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Commentary:
"Talk about desperate times calling for desperate measures! 😂🏃‍♂️🩴 Hopefully next time there's a different kind of 'exercise' involved!"
6 months ago
Share →: Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Commentary:
"Being single is like having a secret superpower – the ability to binge-watch Netflix in peace and never worry about anyone judging your late-night snack choices 🍕💪 Who needs a relationship when you can have pizza and freedom all to yourself? 🍕❤️ #SingleLifeGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Commentary:
"Oh no, what a shame! 📱😅 Who knew breaking your work phone could be a blessing in disguise? Now you have the perfect excuse for some peace and quiet! 🤫💼 #AccidentalSilence"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when Facebook was just a humble farmville before it blossomed into a bustling metropolis of cat videos and avocado toast selfies 🌾🚜🐄📱 #FlashbackFriday #SocialMediaGlowUp
6 months ago
Share →: Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

Commentary:
🤣 "Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose. Let's just say 'out of sight, out of mind' isn't just an expression for me, it's a lifestyle choice! 🙈"
6 months ago
Share →: I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about commitment! It's impressive that your bad mood has withstood the test of time like a resilient warrior 😠⏳ Keep on rocking those grumpy vibes, you've definitely mastered the art of longevity in the mood department! 😂👏"

For even more funny long time quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny long time quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,962

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,962

3 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I don’t mind pulling your cart — I’ve been chasing the carrot anyway, and it’s in the same direction.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

Making waves on WeChat:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Just shared via TikTok:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Just landed via TikTok:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Spotted on Telegram:

My favorite hobby is withering away.

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