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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,882

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Freshly posted on X:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Trending via Twitch:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Just shared via Threads:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Just landed via WeChat:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Going viral on Telegram:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Making waves on Telegram:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Trending via WeChat:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Just landed via Facebook:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

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344 Funny motivation quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

96 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,690

Funny Quotes Topics

16,895

Funny Quotes Images

14,690

Updated

Dec 1, 2025

Users Online

3,905

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people!

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.

Just landed via Slack:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Seen just now on Threads:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Trending via X:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

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