Commentary:
When it comes to support, I'm there faster than the speed of light—just don't expect those messages to be a part of the equation 😄📵✨
492 Funny need quotes
Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.
Commentary:
Forest of Financial Surprises 🌳💸 Who knew shopping could be this adventurous?
You can generate images with your mind whenever you want. You don’t even need AI.
Commentary:
Who needs AI when my brain can project 4K images daydream-style? 🎨🧠✨
The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?
Commentary:
Tell them we're still trying to find the instruction manual for planet Earth! 🚀📚🍄
Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.
Commentary:
Time to buy that winning ticket, because these artifacts and abs aren't going to admire themselves! 🤑🏛️💪
Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.
Commentary:
Who needs friends when you have a for you page that knows your deepest, darkest memes? 😂📱
I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.
Commentary:
Looks like I need to reschedule my appointment with Dr. Frankenstein for that soul upgrade 🤖❤️
I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.
Commentary:
When I get famous, my voicemail mixtape will be called "Unexpected Interludes" 🎶📞😂
Runners who smoke need to pick a side.
Commentary:
Trying to outrun your own smoke cloud must be the ultimate cardio challenge! 🚬🏃♂️💨
Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.
Commentary:
Can we petition for a time zone with extra hours just for Sundays? 🌞🕰️😴