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33 Funny new year quotes

  • A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

    Commentary:
    “New Year‘s resolutions are like a stray hair – you pluck it out and it just comes back for more! 🙈 Here’s to making resolutions that stick like glitter on a New Year‘s Eve outfit! 🎉✨”

  • I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs fireworks when you have this level of determination to bid farewell to a year? Burning the midnight oil to ensure that 2021 gets the hint – talk about a memorable send-off! Here’s to the countdown to brighter days ahead, and a well-deserved good riddance to what’s behind us.”

  • The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the mysterious week between Christmas and New Year’s – a time when calendars seem to lose all sense of logic and normality. It’s as if the universe itself hits the snooze button and decides to take a nap until January. Just remember, when you feel like you’ve fallen into a time-warping wormhole during that week, it’s perfectly normal. Embrace the chaos and enjoy the ride!

  • The only thing I gained this year is weight.

    Commentary:
    “Well, they do say that gaining weight is just a sign that you’re really good at enjoying life to the fullest! Looks like you’ve been winning at that game this year!”

  • January is the Monday of the year.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, January – the month that feels like a never-ending Monday, complete with the Monday blues and a side of icy winds! ❄️ But hey, at least we can dream of warmer days and the weekends ahead! 😅☕️”

  • Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like New Year’s resolutions are already testing the bonds of marriage! 🙈💍 Who knew being independent could be so risky? 😂 #MarriageStruggles”

  • Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

    Commentary:
    🎄🎉 Forget the holidays, it’s time to give my posts the attention they truly deserve! Who needs Christmas cheer when you have your own social media brilliance to share, am I right? Priorities, people! 😂 #PostOverPresents #SelfieSeason

  • I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

    Commentary:
    “New year, old year, who’s keeping track anyway? 🤷‍♂️ Here’s to resolving to eat better and exercise…eventually! 🍔💪 #2023Goals”

  • Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

    Commentary:
    Cheers to another year of perfecting the art of repeating history with an impressive level of enthusiasm! 🥂🎉 May our mistakes be legendary and our optimism unwavering as we embark on this thrilling journey of trial and error! 😄 #NewYearSameMistakes

  • January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

    Commentary:
    “January 1st: Feeling motivated to conquer the world! 🌟 January 2nd: *hits snooze button* Maybe world domination can wait until tomorrow… 😂 #NewYearStruggles”

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