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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Wife asked if I could stop singing Wonderwall. I said maybe…

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I keep myself humble by messing up all the time.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

My dad’s handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,679

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Going bananas on Threads:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Spotted on Messenger:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

Making waves on Threads:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Spotted on Facebook:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Going viral on Messenger:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Spreading quickly via X:

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Going bananas on TikTok:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Funny nonchalant quotes

Funny nonchalant quotes are the perfect blend of chill vibes 😎 and witty humor 😂 that keep you casually entertained. Whether you’re brushing off stress or just embracing the art of not caring too much, these laid-back lines add a splash of sass and a dash of cool 😏. Ready to lighten the mood and laugh effortlessly? Let’s dive into some seriously silly and surprisingly wise words! 🎉✨

New funny nonchalant quotes 👇

All funny nonchalant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on X this month:

At this point, if I get picked up by aliens, I’m just gonna go ahead and consider it a rescue mission instead of an abduction.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

51 shares on Threads this month:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes it’s not a secret, it’s just none of your business.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re a “haha” girl, and I’m an “lol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,589

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Going viral on X:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Making waves on YouTube:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Making waves on TikTok:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Shared recently on X:

I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Going viral on Facebook:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

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