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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,688

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Trending via Facebook:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Going viral on Facebook:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Going bananas on Twitch:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Making waves on WeChat:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

Just shared via Telegram:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

20 Funny personal care quotes

More funny personal care quotes 👇

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

0

2 months ago

amazing, amazing feeling, back, before, care, feel, feeling, growing, growth, hair, hair growth, humor, i, just, leg, legs, man, minutes, next, personal, personal care, seconds, self-care, shaved, shaved leg, time
Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

0

2 months ago

72h, always, belief, believe, bus, care, deodorant, fragrance, humor, manufacturers, me, next, people, personal, personal care, satire, sit, stop, writing
I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

0

2 months ago

brand, buzzing, care, curiosity, enjoying, funny observation, hear, hour, humor, i, know, need, neighbor, observation, personal, personal care, time, toothbrush
I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

0

2 months ago

alive, armpits, care, deodorant, feel, humor, hygiene, i, personal, personal care, shaving, still
Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

0

2 months ago

anyone, brush, care, else, humor, hygiene, just, little, me, multitasking, personal, personal care, routine, shower, teeth, toothbrush
Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

0

3 months ago

accidentally, care, feel, gel, humor, i, identity, lying, men, mistake, myself, personal, personal care, reason, shower, shower gel, today, used
Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often.

0

3 months ago

care, else, getting, hair, hair salon, hair wash, joy, personal, personal care, pleasure, relaxation, salon, self-care, simple, simple pleasure, someone, wash
“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

0

4 months ago

care, decline, done, excuse, fashion, hair, humor, outing, personal, personal care, reason, refusal, socializing
Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

0

5 months ago

bisexual, care, deodorant, humor, i, identity, just, means, men’s, men’s product, perfume, personal, personal care, product, scent, wear
Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

0

5 months ago

anime, care, deodorant, even, humor, hygiene, man, personal, personal care, still, wear

For even more funny personal care quotes, hit next 👇

All funny personal care quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Twitch this month:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

89 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

71 shares on Discord this month:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

47 shares on Discord this month:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Foreplay is great, I particularly like the part where I peel them, chop them into pieces, then roast them in the oven until they’re all crispy and delicious.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Just shared via Reddit:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Seen just now on X:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Just landed via Discord:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Spotted on TikTok:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Just landed via Threads:

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Fish must think we look so weird with both eyes on the front of our face.

Just shared via Instagram:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Activity Log ✨

20 Funny personal care quotes

More funny personal care quotes 👇

All funny personal care quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨