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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Rare earth, this rare earth, that. There’s nothing more rare on this earth than affordable housing in a walkable neighborhood.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Shoutout to everyone pretending to have it together. Same.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Just shared via Telegram:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Freshly posted on Threads:

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

Going viral on Instagram:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Just shared via Twitch:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Funny pessimism quotes

Funny pessimism quotes bring a hilarious twist to seeing the glass half empty 🍷😅. They turn gloomy outlooks into laugh-out-loud moments, proving that even the worst-case scenarios can be pretty entertaining 😂💭. Ready to embrace the dark side with a smile? These witty lines will have you chuckling while expecting the unexpected! 🎭✨

New funny pessimism quotes 👇

Life update: it’s getting worse.

0

2 months ago

getting, humor, life, pessimism, sarcasm, update, worse
Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

0

2 months ago

anyone, appreciate, attitude, being, fails, fun, humor, i, i told you so, joy, optimism, pessimism, pessimist, sarcasm, saying, told
Everything is awful, and no one is going to save you from this treacherous world. Oops, I mean, happy Friday!

0

2 months ago

awful, contrast, dark, dark humor, everything, Friday, going, happy, humor, i, irony, mean, mood, oops, pessimism, positivity, sarcasm, save, world
When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

0

2 months ago

ability, attitude, bad, dark, dark humor, die, hope, humor, i, irony, pessimism, sarcasm, self-deprecation, situation, take, worse
I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

0

2 months ago

again, anything, bad, behavior, being, ever, feel, frustration, good, happen, human, human behavior, humor, i, motivation, people, pessimism, self-awareness, stupid, stupidity, think
Oh good. Another day.

0

2 months ago

another, day, good, humor, irony, oh, pessimism, routine, sarcasm
No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

0

2 months ago

5pm, darkness, death, evening, humor, i, irony, love, nation, pessimism, sarcasm
Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

0

2 months ago

bad, better, expectations, humor, imagination, optimism, perspective, pessimism, reality, things
Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

0

4 months ago

best, brand, excited, excitement, expectation, hope, hoping, humor, irony, new, optimism, pessimism, super, week, worst
Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

0

4 months ago

age, aging, dark, dark humor, dead, getting, humor, middle, middle age, mortality, oh, pessimism, sarcasm, where

All funny pessimism quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve reached the conclusion that all men love thigh high stockings.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

The word ‘stan’ comes from the Eminem song “Stan” which is about one of his obsessed fans. What if Eminem named the fan ‘Dennis’? We could be saying, “I dennis Beyonce.”

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

19 shares on Discord this month:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Breaking via WeChat:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Shared recently on X:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Going viral on Reddit:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Live now on LinkedIn:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Trending via Instagram:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Just shared via TikTok:

People tell introverts to talk more and get out of their comfort zone, but no one tells extroverts to shut up to make the zone comfortable.

Trending via Reddit:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

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