47 Funny post quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

  Commentary:
  "Love in the digital age: Are they stealing your heart or just your playlists? 🎶💔 #MixtapeRomance"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

  Commentary:
  💌 When I show up at the post office, it's like I've just announced a major plot twist in a telenovela! The look of shock on the post office worker's face is truly priceless. I mean, who knew mailing a package could cause such a commotion? 😂 #PostOfficeDrama #SurpriseDelivery

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic Reddit relationship saga – where even a simple love squabble turns into a full-blown melodrama! 🎹💔 It's like a soap opera meets a circus act, complete with dramatic plot twists and a keyboard of emotions. Who knew marriage could be a musical rollercoaster? 🎭🎶😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: “Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

  Commentary:
  "Trying to use 'pre' and 'post' together is like trying to hit pause and rewind on life at the same time ⏪🔄 Talk about a preposterous paradox! It's a linguistic rollercoaster – with no seatbelts! 🎢😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

  Commentary:
  Going off the grid without a dramatic exit is the ultimate power move! 🐻💻 Just drop a post like "Off to find bears in caves, see ya later alligators!" and watch the curiosity levels skyrocket! Who needs formal goodbyes when you can leave your followers questioning a potential bear encounter? 🤔🐾 #SocialMediaMystery

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

  Commentary:
  "Applying for a job online is like sending your resume into a black hole and then getting interviewed like you were hand-picked by the heavens above 🌟💼 It's like, hey, I applied because I need a job and you had openings – it's not rocket science! 🚀😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

  Commentary:
  "When it comes to LinkedIn posts, it seems like some people have mistaken quantity for quality – the longer the post, the deeper it can dive into the realm of BS! 🙈💬 #LinkedInLogic"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, well, well, aren't you just the smooth expert of linguistic seduction! 😏💋 Your words just sashayed right into our hearts…or should I say, 'eyes'! Congratulations on decoding this covert message meant only for the truly irresistible minds out there! 😉 #WordsmithOfSeduction"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the age-old tradition of spreading malice instead of love! 💔😈 Who needs roses and chocolates when you can broadcast your carefully curated shots of side-eye and eye rolls? 📸😜 Just make sure to use the right filter to really capture that "frenemy drama" essence! #AntiValentinesDay #InstagramWarfare

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic Catch-22 situation in its purest form! 🤔💸 It's like a literary standoff where neither party wants to make the first move. 📚💰 Here's hoping this dilemma doesn't turn into a sequel: Catch-23 – The Neverending Transaction Saga! 😂🔄"

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