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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,984

Funny Quotes Topics

14,791

Funny Quotes Images

11,984

2 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Went for a run this morning. That bee was huge!

Broadcasted on Facebook:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Trending via Discord:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Spotted on X:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Home » Funny Punctuality Quotes

Funny punctuality quotes

Funny punctuality quotes bring a hilarious twist to the struggle of being on time ⏰😂 Whether you’re fashionably late or always early, these witty lines will make you smile and rethink your relationship with the clock 🕒🤣 Perfect for sharing with friends who never seem to arrive when expected! Get ready to laugh and maybe even embrace your own unique sense of timing ⏳😎

New funny punctuality quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Commentary:
Fashionably late to the office—because clocks are just a suggestion! ⏰😅✌️
5 days ago
Share →: The nicest thing I’ve done for a date is turn up.

Commentary:
Turning up to a date is my version of a grand romantic gesture 😂💃🥳
5 days ago
Share →: My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Commentary:
I'm convinced Time Travel exists, but only in my optimistic morning routine 🚀⏰😂
4 weeks ago
Share →: I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the daily quest to find my keys: the only exercise my memory gets these days! 🗝️🤔🔍 Late, but with style!"
3 months ago
Share →: Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Commentary:
When punctuality takes a backseat to personal flair 🚦😎—because who needs a schedule when you’ve got style? 😂⏰ #LateAndLovingIt
6 months ago
Share →: A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet satisfaction of a latecomer basking in the glow of not being the latest one to the party! 🕰️😄 It's the small victories in life that keep us ticking along, one tardy step at a time!"

For even more funny punctuality quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny punctuality quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1822 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,984

Funny Quotes Topics

14,791

Funny Quotes Images

11,984

2 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Just shared via Threads:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Reported on Instagram:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Going viral on Messenger:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Reported on LinkedIn:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

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