Commentary:
Boy, time flies when you're having fun! Can't believe I missed my 229th birthday bash. 🎉🧓🗼
263 Funny right quotes
iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.
Commentary:
When your iPhone's spidey senses say, "Nah, better wait for Mercury to be out of retrograde first." 📱🔮🌌
Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.
Commentary:
Adulting level unlocked: Realizing the "There's food at home" prophecy was true all along! 🍞🏠😂
If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.
Commentary:
When life puts you on expert mode, but you can't find the 'save game' option 🤪🎮🔄
Women only want one thing, and it’s the power to cast men who tell us to smile right into a pit of giant venomous serpents.
Commentary:
Sounds like those guys are about to have a hiss-terical encounter! 🐍😄
I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’
Commentary:
If flies could speak English, I'd finally have someone new to ignore my ultimatums 😂🪰💬
What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.
Commentary:
Mondays are like leftovers—somehow, there's always more than you expect! 😂🤦♂️
(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?
Commentary:
Looks like he's on a very delicate mission and hoping it doesn't go tits up! 🤭🇬🇧😅
What would you do if you were in my situation right now? The situation being that I’m drunk.
Commentary:
I'd probably be trying to have a serious conversation with a cat right now! 🐱🍷😂
I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?
Commentary:
Toddlers dropping F-bombs like it's a toy they found on the floor 😂🧸#BadButHilarious