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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

These quiet electric cars are really annoying. I have to stop scrolling and look up while walking outside now.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Dec 30, 2025

3,673

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Shared recently on TikTok:

We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

Going viral on Slack:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

Breaking via Telegram:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Just landed via X:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Going viral on Snapchat:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Seen just now on Facebook:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Shared recently on Threads:

I never had a year with this much thinking. I’ve been thinking since the 1st.

Seen just now on Discord:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

13 Funny self-help quotes

Funny self-help quotes bring a splash of laughter to your personal growth journey 🤪✨ Perfect for those days when motivation feels like a marathon 🏃‍♀️💨, these witty gems remind us that self-improvement doesn’t have to be serious all the time 🎉😄. Ready to boost your mood and mindset with a smile? Let’s dive into some hilarious wisdom that’s as uplifting as it is entertaining! 🚀😂

New funny self-help quotes 👇

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

0

2 weeks ago

book, book recommendation, books, brain, brain rot, fiction, humor, reading, recommendation, return, rot, self-help, self-help book
At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, attitude, casual, casual attitude, coping, coping mechanism, every, funny response, health, humor, mechanism, mental, mental health, question, response, saying, self-help, therapy, worry
Can you lose weight by running away from your feelings?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, coping, exercise, feelings, fitness, humor, lose, motivation, running, self-help, weight
I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

0

2 months ago

actually, beautiful, beauty, empowerment, humor, i, save, self-help, think, yourself
The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

0

2 months ago

creativity, demon, demonade, demons, fight, humor, personal, positivity, refreshing, self-help
How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

0

2 months ago

crisis, cult, direction, existential, existential crisis, humor, i, life, need, recruitment, self-help
Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, basic, coping, health, humor, intrusive, intrusive thought, looking, mental, mental health, recommend, recommendation, self-help, someone, thought, thoughts
I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

0

2 months ago

advice, complete, free, free advice, growth, here, humor, i, inspirational, inspirational quote, irony, just, life, life advice, people, personal, personal growth, self-help, train, train wreck, wreck
My life coach traded me.

0

2 months ago

coach, coaching, humor, irony, life, life coach, me, relationships, self-help, trade
Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

0

2 months ago

astrology, blame, blaming, failures, growth, humor, learn, lightheartedness, personal, personal growth, planets, self-help, stop, yourself

For even more funny self-help quotes, hit next 👇

All funny self-help quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Twitch this month:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

38 shares on Reddit this month:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re an adult, maybe it’s time to stop fighting with people on the internet.”

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

I love Pinterest. No opinions. No bad vibes. Just pretty pictures.

14 shares on Discord this month:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My family asked me what I wanted for Mother’s Day, so I packed their bags and changed the locks.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They expect me to work at work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,059

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

If at first you don’t succeed, that’s so embarrassing. Why are you so bad at this?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I hate when the lotion bottle pump squirts the hardened remains of its mucus plug into the palm of your hand.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Happiness is an inside job.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

None of this is happening. It’s all in your phone.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Seen just now on X:

Even before the internet, I always had a little side chat going on in my head.

Spotted on Threads:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Trending via X:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Trending via Threads:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Going viral on Instagram:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Just shared via Telegram:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

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