Commentary:
Guess this post will probably end up in the inbox of approximately 2 telepaths, a dog with a highly unusual stare, and my Aunt Susan who thinks WiFi is magic 🐶✨👩🦳📡
133 Funny show quotes
Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.
Commentary:
When your toy game isn't strong enough for the virtual playdate 😂🧸📱
Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.
Commentary:
Guess my driveway is officially a "no-fly zone" now! 🍗🐦🚫
The thing I can’t get over about Love Island is they’re only allowed 2 drinks a night, like they’re all just acting like that.
Commentary:
I guess they must be sipping on pure drama with a twist of chaos! 🍹🎭
I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”
Commentary:
When Netflix autoplay is my DJ and my phone screen is the dance floor 🎶📱💃 #MultitaskingMaster
If I was on Love Island, I would get wasted and drown in the pool, altering the course of every contestant’s life forever.
Commentary:
Making waves on Love Island, one cocktail at a time 🍹🏊♂️😆
America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.
Commentary:
Just waiting for the episode where everyone gets amnesia and someone announces, "It was all a dream!" 😂📺🎬
Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.
Commentary:
Growing up means starring in your own reality show where even the cat is an uninterested audience! 🙀🎬🍿
At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.
Commentary:
Level up complete: now unlocking Dad Mode! 🤣🎓👨👧👦
Texting is so boring. Just show up to my door with roses.
Commentary:
Who needs a notification ping when you can have the doorbell symphony and a flower delivery 💐🚪😂