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5 months ago
Share →: I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of the not-so-subtle villain monologue in disguise! 🦹‍♂️😏 It's like a game of 'Spot the Villain' where the clues are hidden in plain sight. It's all fun and games until you realize you're already in their evil master plan. 🤔😈 Stay alert, folks, you never know who might be spinning a sneaky narrative!"
5 months ago
Share →: Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Commentary:
"Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"
5 months ago
Share →: I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Commentary:
"Oh, the struggle is real! It's like trying to decode alien hieroglyphics while juggling flaming torches 🔥🃏 Don't worry, you're not alone in the land of lost rules and tangled game strategies! 👽🎲"
5 months ago
Share →: As someone who was born in August, I find the word leotard extremely offensive.

Commentary:
"August babies unite! 🎉 Leotard, the audacity! How dare they try to confine our free-spirited August energy with such a word 😂🦁 #AugustPride"
5 months ago
Share →: The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Commentary:
"Looks like the universe needs some IT support! 🌌💻 Maybe it's stuck in a cosmic loop, time for a reboot! 🔄🌠 Who do we call for intergalactic tech support? 👾📞"
5 months ago
Share →: Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Commentary:
🍞🔥 "Level 6 on toasters – the perfect setting for those who like to live life on the edge! Who needs lightly toasted when you can have charcoal with a side of butter, right? 🤣 #ExtraCrispy #ToasterAdventures"
5 months ago
Share →: If you think someone has put a spell on you, send me $500 and I’ll get rid of it.

Commentary:
🔮💸 "If you suspect someone's been dabbling in the dark arts, just swipe $500 my way and I'll wave my magic credit card to banish that spell! ✨💳 Who needs potions and incantations when you have the power of money, am I right? 😂💸"
5 months ago
Share →: Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Commentary:
Looks like it's a tech-savvy dilemma! 📞📺 Maybe try not to confuse the TV with the phone app next time! Technology can be tricky, but you got this! Just remember, the voicemail is not on channel 5! 😂
5 months ago
Share →: Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old mystery of dating – like solving a complex puzzle with no manual! 🤔🕵️‍♂️ But hey, patience is key 😉 Who knows, maybe they're just holding out for someone as fabulous as they are! 💁‍♀️💕"
5 months ago
Share →: Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Commentary:
"Whoever said spelling doesn't matter clearly hasn't been blocked after making corrections! 🚫🤓 Embrace the power of the delete button, folks! 💥😂"