Commentary:
"Better cozy up together before the bedbugs start swiping right! 😂🛌🔥 #CuddleOrCompete"
336 Funny someone quotes
Trending Funny Someone Quotes 🔥
- If you’ve been talking for 5 minutes straight, it might be someone else’s turn.
- Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.
- If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”
- If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.
- Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.
More funny someone quotes 👇
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Commentary:
Ah, the modern dating landscape – a complex dance of complication and chaos! 🕺💔 It's like trying to find a unicorn in a field of mermaids and centaurs! 🦄🧜♂️ But hey, just remember, finding someone who's not a little damaged is like finding a needle in a haystack… in a tornado! 🌪️📍 Keep your sense of humor intact and your heart open, for love will find its way -
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'trying to impress' phase of dating! 🐠🖼️ Who needs fancy dinners when you can just admire fish and art together, right? 😄 #datingnewbie" -
Commentary:
"Remember, even in the spooky world of dating ghosts, always show some respect 👻🚫 Unless you're into haunting relationships, then go ahead and send a ghostly 'Boo!' 🎃😄 Just keep it ghostly chic, darling! 💁♂️💀" -
Commentary:
"WeightWatchers website be like: 'Do you accept cookies?' 🍪 Well played, WeightWatchers, well played! Like, obviously I accept cookies – the real question is how many can I have without breaking my diet? 😂 #SneakyButSmart" -
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'method acting' – gaining weight for a role you never auditioned for! 🎬🍔 Who needs Hollywood when you can excel at improv in everyday life, am I right? 😆 #OscarWorthyPerformance" -
Commentary:
"Seems like the concept of 'wine budget' was lost in translation for this person 🍷⏳ Next time, maybe they’ll stick to the 'price tag' rather than 'time spent' approach 😄⏳ #TimeIsNotMoney" -
Commentary:
Well, it's not like you can leave a voicemail saying, "Sorry, I'm not feeling very productive today." 🙈💦 Just imagine the awkwardness of that phone call – "Hello, yes, I need to cancel my reservation at the sperm bank… No, no reason in particular, I'm just feeling a bit… drained?" 😂 It definitely raises some intriguing logistical questions! -
Commentary:
"Offering advice in your late 20s to someone in their early 20s is like a toddler trying to guide a newbie on their very first steps in the wide world of adulthood! 🧒👶 While your intentions might be well-meaning, there's no denying the comical mismatch in experience levels. Just remember, we're all in this chaotic journey together! 🌟😄" -
Commentary:
When the lecturer calls for the unheard voices, my soul's immediate reaction is to stage a grand escape! 👻💨 It's like a dramatic exit scene from a blockbuster movie – except instead of a hero, it's me dodging that spotlight like a ninja. 😂 #GhostModeActivated
Top Funny Someone Quotes 🔥
- Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.
- Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?
- Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.
- Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.
- By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.
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