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10,000+ funny quotes

150 Funny wordplay quotes

I bought a bag of M&M’s and they don’t have M’s anymore. They all have W’s, for woke.

3 months ago

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

3 months ago

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

3 months ago

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

3 months ago

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

3 months ago

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

3 months ago

If you breakdance you buy dance.

3 months ago

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

3 months ago

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

3 months ago

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

3 months ago

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

3 months ago

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

3 months ago

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

3 months ago

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

3 months ago

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

3 months ago

“Topless” doesn’t always mean breasts or a convertible. Sometimes it also means the brain.

3 months ago

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

3 months ago

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

3 months ago

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

3 months ago

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

3 months ago