218 funny year quotes - Page 5 - Wordgag

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

May 22, 2026

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

May 22, 2026

Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

May 22, 2026

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

May 22, 2026

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

May 22, 2026

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

May 22, 2026

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

May 22, 2026

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

May 22, 2026

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

May 22, 2026

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

May 21, 2026

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

May 21, 2026

Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

May 21, 2026

The Christmas tree I’ve had up all year makes a lot more sense now.

May 21, 2026

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

May 21, 2026

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

May 21, 2026

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

May 21, 2026

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

May 21, 2026

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

May 21, 2026

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

May 21, 2026

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

May 21, 2026

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

May 21, 2026

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

May 21, 2026

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

May 21, 2026

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

May 21, 2026

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

May 21, 2026

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

May 21, 2026

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

May 21, 2026

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

May 21, 2026

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

May 20, 2026

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

May 20, 2026

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

May 20, 2026

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

May 20, 2026

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

May 20, 2026

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

May 20, 2026

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

May 20, 2026

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

May 20, 2026

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

May 20, 2026

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

May 20, 2026

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

May 20, 2026

Happy new fear!

May 20, 2026