Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Skin coloured leggings should be illegal.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Seen just now on X:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Trending via Slack:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Just landed via Messenger:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Spotted on Reddit:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Spotted on Messenger:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

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Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.
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Commentary:
That's sanitizer's unique talent—finding invisible paper cuts like a ninja detective! 🕵️‍♂️🩹😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

90 shares on X this month:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine if we had to worry about dinosaurs too, on top of everything else.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

99 shares on Pinterest this month:

Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you don’t fall in love with me, I’ll write poetry about you and then you’ll regret it.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

61 shares on TikTok this month:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls be like, “Baby, I have a great idea,” and it’s a trip you have to pay for.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The opposite of “taking candy from a baby” is “putting sunscreen on a toddler.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,618

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

FOMO is a summer thing. Winter is all about FOGO (fear of going out).

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A swear jar for Twitter would end world hunger.

Trending via Instagram:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Trending via Threads:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Going viral on Slack:

Agriculture can’t possibly be a dying industry. Bot farms are booming.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

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