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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

My superpower is holding onto stuff for years and throwing it away exactly one week before I need it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Jan 7, 2026

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Spotted on Threads:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Going bananas on TikTok:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Breaking via Threads:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Freshly posted on X:

It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Just shared via Slack:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

2 months ago

0

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh boy, sounds like your buddy found the ultimate way to escape adulting! 🤸‍♂️💫 Remember, trampolines might just be the portal to Narnia… or maybe just the neighbor's yard! 😂🪀 Just bounce responsibly, folks! #TrampolineAdventures

activity, back, buddy, came, careful, caution, fun, fun activity, humor, joke, man, never, risk, trampoline

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

0

2 months ago

day, frustration, handed, humor, i, impatience, joke, left, patience, sarcasm, taking, too, waiting
A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

0

2 months ago

activity, call, fun, home, humor, prank, sick, stay, thing, work
Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

0

2 months ago

alcohol, bad, bad day, bar, coping, coping mechanism, day, drinking, humor, i, liquor, liquor store, mechanism, stop, store, today
Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

0

2 months ago

dating, forever, honeymoon, humor, humor quote, lasts, love, marriage, partner, phase, pick, relationship, right, romance
Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

0

2 months ago

bro, dinner, eating, fault, feel, guilt, guilty, house, humor, hungry, i, irony, lifestyle, making, rapper, rappers, reason, responsibility, streets
I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

0

2 months ago

culture, days, expression, fun, i, miss, music, nostalgia, rap

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a private person except for when I’m publicly trauma dumping on social media.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

RIP to everyone killed by the Gods for their hubris, but I’m different. And better. Maybe even better than the Gods.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

22 shares on X this month:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

64 shares on X this month:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

77 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

Spreading quickly via X:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Making waves on Twitch:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Making waves on WeChat:

My attempts to purge my possessions always seem to result in me rediscovering that I have lots of nice things, after which I lie happily on my hoard like a dragon.

Seen just now on X:

If anime hair were real, there would be so much color dysmorphia. Like, imagine getting brown. I would be so pissed.

Going bananas on Threads:

Milk teeth are wasted on children. A new set of teeth would be a lot more useful when you’re older.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Spotted on Threads:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

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