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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

Shared recently on Slack:

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

Just landed via TikTok:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Spotted on Threads:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Shared recently on Threads:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Breaking via X:

Not now, I’m befriending a crow and teaching it how to deliver handwritten love notes.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

Just landed via TikTok:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

2 months ago

0

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh boy, sounds like your buddy found the ultimate way to escape adulting! 🤸‍♂️💫 Remember, trampolines might just be the portal to Narnia… or maybe just the neighbor's yard! 😂🪀 Just bounce responsibly, folks! #TrampolineAdventures

activity, back, buddy, came, careful, caution, fun, fun activity, humor, joke, man, never, risk, trampoline

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

0

2 months ago

communication, due, humor, i, irony, mouth, nothing, phrase, respect, sarcasm, say, speech
Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

0

2 months ago

candy, eat, food, guilt, heart, humor, i, much, stomach, today, too, too much, yes
Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

0

4 months ago

family, humor, me, parent, parents, relationship, sarcasm, telling
Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

0

5 months ago

communication, grammar, humor, language, lesson, lessons, lot, media, social, social media, teach
Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

0

22 hours ago

days, downs, feel, feeling, feels, humor, i, life, me, mood, pressure, top, ups, ups and downs, world
Nobody lures you into a gingerbread house in the forest anymore.

0

2 months ago

childhood, fairy, fairy tale, forest, gingerbread, gingerbread house, house, humor, lure, nobody, nostalgia, tale, whimsy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

51 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

93 shares on X this month:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

40 shares on Discord this month:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

The older I get, the more I don’t want to do things.

38 shares on Threads this month:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Needs to be a Google Maps setting where you can ask them not to make you take a left across four lanes of oncoming traffic.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You are why Superman costumes have warning labels telling you the costume won’t make you fly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,463

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Going viral on YouTube:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Making waves on Messenger:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Trending via Messenger:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Seen just now on Instagram:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Breaking via Facebook:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Just landed via Discord:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Seen just now on Slack:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Making waves on YouTube:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Before I had kids I was only vaguely aware that Saturday had a 7am.

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