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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Don’t ruin a good sundress by wearing panties.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

4,052

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Making waves on WeChat:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

6 days ago

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Commentary:
When you realize the holiday spirit is just a spooky HR meeting with festive lights 👻🎄🤑

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

3 months ago

bigger, business, congrats, deadline, even, fired, firing, hitting, humor, missing, number, numbers, performance, pressure, q3, Q3 number, q4, Q4 number, work
They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

1 month ago

comedy, genius, humor, intelligence, learn, learning, making, mistake, mistakes, sarcasm, say, self-deprecating, soon, why, wit
In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

1 week ago

20s, audience, authenticity, doing, growth, important, performing, personal, personal growth, prove, resist, resistance, self-awareness, temptation, watching, well
My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

1 month ago

better, body, body confidence, confidence, humor, just, lighting, self-deprecating, summer, summer body, winter, winter body
Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

2 months ago

40s, age, bed, humor, know, life, means, night, nothing, reality, Saturday, weekend, welcome
Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

1 month ago

accuracy, anger, born, comedy, ghost, ghosts, height, historical, historical accuracy, horror, me, movie, nothing, research, screenwriter, tall

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Breaking via WeChat:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Just landed via Slack:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Going viral on Telegram:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Just shared via Threads:

All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority are just freelancing.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Making waves on WeChat:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

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Activity Log ✨

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

My love language is deader than Latin.

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

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I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

In your 20s, you will be tempted to prove that you’re doing well. It’s important you resist performing for an audience that isn’t watching.

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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