Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,539

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Just shared via Messenger:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Trending via Snapchat:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Cheating before AI required a level of effort that you ended up learning something by default.

Just shared via Facebook:

Men’s jeans have bigger pockets to help them carry all their audacity.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Thaw me like one of your french fries!

Shared recently on WeChat:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Trending via Discord:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize the holiday spirit is just a spooky HR meeting with festive lights 👻🎄🤑

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

2 months ago

creative, humor, interpretation, just, late, procrastination, time
Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

2 months ago

amount, body, bueno, chocolate, cravings, humor, humor quote, indulgence, kinder, Kinder Bueno, listen, snack, temptation
Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

2 months ago

breakup, comfort, every, hand, held, humor, relationship, sugar, support, through
Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

2 months ago

even, grow, growth, haircut, hairstyle, humor, joke, patience, remember, worst
You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

2 months ago

activity, date, eat, funny observation, know, observation, person, popcorn, seen, snack, social, social activity
Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

2 months ago

emotion, feelings, humor, i, joke, play, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

22 shares on WeChat this month:

I told my daughter to check her attitude, and she responded, “For complaints about attitude, please contact the manufacturer.”

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Yabba dabba doo used to be a rad way to start a Saturday.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Playing dead when a cop pulls me over.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Trending via Slack:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Live now on Slack:

Jesus turned water into wine. I turn food into fertilizer. We are not the same.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Making waves on Slack:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Just landed via WeChat:

He’s an everything bagel… I’m just a nothing burger…

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Making waves on Threads:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

Remember that even the worst haircut will eventually grow on you.

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨