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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

353 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,622

Funny Quotes Topics

17,673

Funny Quotes Images

15,622

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Going bananas on YouTube:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Trending via Messenger:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Just landed via YouTube:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Just landed via Reddit:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Breaking via X:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to keep a straight face every time I hear it… but they should've considered naming it "StopDaddy" 😂🤔

believe, brand, business, company, company name, GoDaddy, humor, i, name, still, surprise

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

2 months ago

bro, entertainment, foreign, foreign language, frustration, humor, language, Netflix, speaking, streaming, subtitles, translate
I am single, please disturb me!

2 months ago

am, disturb, fun, humor, i, independence, loneliness, me, relationship, single
Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

2 months ago

conservation, cut, ecological, environment, humans, humor, irony, nature, only, paper, paradox, sarcasm, save, trees
There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

2 months ago

activity, couple, date, fast, fast food, food, fun, fun activity, getting, humor, intimacy, lover, McDonald’s, romantic, something
Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

2 months ago

beginning, child, ending, humor, learning, life, mommy, parenting, say
Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

2 months ago

am, drinking, drinking habit, habit, humor, i, joke, just, kid, kids, me, okay, parenting, school, soon, start, teacher, terrible

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love all mythical creatures. Vampires, werewolves, unicorns, kids who listen.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

61 shares on Slack this month:

The government even made aliens boring.

74 shares on X this month:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

20 shares on Messenger this month:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

30 shares on Threads this month:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Aura is the real business card.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I love being home and doing absolutely nothing and never contributing to society.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Men make it so easy to hate them.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

This cannot be the cost of living after Jesus paid it all.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Live now on Pinterest:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Just shared via Threads:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Shared recently on TikTok:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Trending via Reddit:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Shared recently on TikTok:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

I am single, please disturb me!

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨