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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“Well, this is no good. How do I turn it off?” – The first primate to experience consciousness.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,546

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,546

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,803

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Just shared via Threads:

I just be giggling, then start thinking about bills and remember ain’t nothing funny.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Trending via X:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Seen just now on Instagram:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Making waves on Telegram:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Live now on Slack:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌳🌲🌳 Oh, those sneaky trees are always listening! Better watch out for those shady characters the next time you venture into the forest. Remember, nature has ears everywhere! 🌿👂 #TreeWhisperer #WatchOut

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,546

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,546

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

4,019

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep! we landed a robot on Mars! Scientists today: for the last time, the Earth is *round*.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Breaking via Slack:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Live now on Threads:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Making waves on Twitch:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Going bananas on Discord:

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Just shared via Twitch:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

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