I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

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I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

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My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

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April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

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Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

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I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

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Kitchen sex, because it might be your only chance of getting laid on an island this summer.

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I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.