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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,397

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I’m having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Going viral on Threads:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Just shared via Reddit:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Making waves on Slack:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Trending via WhatsApp:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

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If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.
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Commentary:
Well, I guess that's one way to avoid the 'Can I help you?' inquiry! 😆🛍️🚶‍♂️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on YouTube this month:

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

25 shares on Twitch this month:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,438

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via X:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Making waves on TikTok:

Regrettably, my children appear to have befriended a child I find annoying.

Trending via Instagram:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Just shared via Slack:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Just landed via Instagram:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

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