Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Men absolutely love buying the same shirt in four almost identical colors and saying, ‘Yep, that’ll do me for the next three years.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Going bananas on YouTube:

When I retire, I’m going to run for office.

Live now on WeChat:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

Spotted on Reddit:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Spotted on TikTok:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Breaking via Twitch:

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

Just shared via WeChat:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Feeling like a twenty-something until bedtime hits at 9 PM 😂⏰ #YoungAtHeart

age, age gap, am, definitely, feel, feeling, feeling young, gap, hang, humor, i, nope, people, self-awareness, socializing, still, thirty, twenty, young

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

0

2 months ago

care, dump, friendship, health, humor, invitation, mental, mental health, movie, nap, order, over, pizza, relaxation, self, self-care, take, trauma, trauma dump, want, watch
You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, annoying, entertainment, essay, humor, incorrect, irony, preference, realization, realize, something, video, video essay, YouTube
I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

0

2 months ago

comedy, Earth, existential, humor, i, me, need, planets, psychic, sad, tell
Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

0

3 months ago

bug, bugs, humor, insect, joke, lack, leg, legs, personality
The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

0

2 weeks ago

after, aging, commute, drive, driving, extra, hate, home, house, hurry, i, late, making, older, stop, work
I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

0

2 months ago

eat, exam, humor, i, means, paper, pass, pretty, school, soon, student, test

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Reddit this month:

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

74 shares on Threads this month:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

48 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

61 shares on X this month:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

57 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Hey girl, are you a burger? Because I love you.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

Just landed via Messenger:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Spotted on Messenger:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Spotted on Facebook:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Trending via Discord:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Bugs have so many legs to make up for their lack of personality.

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨