Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,611

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Spotted on Threads:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Just landed via Slack:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh, I'm here for the buffet, but could you make mine gluten-free? 🍽️😂🥗

commentary, diet, eat, food, fry, humor, i, irony, planning, rich, salad, satire, social, social commentary

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

0

2 months ago

brain, discovery, humor, i, just, left, left side, mental, mental state, nothing, right, right side, self-awareness, side, state
Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

0

1 month ago

caffeine, coffee, cutting, eat, energy, exhaustion, frustration, gun, humor, i, joke, need, sarcasm
I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

0

2 months ago

always, bottle, cheap, drinking, family, hosting, house, humor, i, visit, wine
“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

0

2 months ago

bro, control, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, night, over, overthinking, relatable, staying, staying up, stress, things, tired, yes
I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

0

5 months ago

awkwardness, dominance, humor, i, interaction, me, minute, small, small talk, social, social interaction, someone, talk, yawn, yawning
Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

0

3 months ago

after, brag, bragging, date, humor, relationship, restroom, using

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on WeChat this month:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

41 shares on Threads this month:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

73 shares on Slack this month:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

47 shares on X this month:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

90 shares on Discord this month:

If you eat well and exercise, you’ll die fit.

40 shares on Slack this month:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

You told your cat how much you love him, but now it’s morning, the sun is out, you’re sober, and it’s just weird for both of you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

What’s a beginner hobby for someone just getting into being happy?

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Spotted on Reddit:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Going viral on Twitch:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Seen just now on WeChat:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Breaking via Messenger:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Shared recently on WeChat:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

Just shared via Facebook:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨