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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,280

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Just shared via Discord:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Just landed via TikTok:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’m running out of people I like.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

Spotted on WeChat:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Spotted on WeChat:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living in the 21st century: where every day feels like an escape room adventure with your phone! 🔍🤖📱

alive, call, code, codes, day, email, email verification, every, fabulous, frustration, hot, humor, life, love, modern, modern life, news, nightmare, person, phone, phone call, reading, real, robot, time, verification, verification code, yelling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

0

2 months ago

confinement, distance, earphone, earphones, entertainment, feels, frustration, jail, journey, long distance, long journey, noise, serving, silence, term, travel, travel frustration
When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

0

2 months ago

amusing, animal, animal comparison, chasing, comparison, dance, dance move, dog, humor, i, move, people, quirky, say, self-deprecating, tail, wild, wild dog
Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

0

2 months ago

backflip, dream, forever, funny dream, just, memory, show, someone, stranger, surprise, unexpected, unexpected visitor, visitor
80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

0

5 months ago

80s, 80s movie, back, decade, future, humor, movie, nostalgia, past, time, time travel, today, travel
Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

0

4 months ago

appear, chore, cleaning, creature, dish, dishes, doing, fighting, frustration, household, humor, hydra, mythological, mythological creature, wash, washing
I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

0

2 months ago

activity, club, cream, dessert, humor, ice, ice cream, inside, scoop, secret, secret club, social, social activity, surprise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Discord this month:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

My toxic trait is optimism.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shoutout to video games, man. I love having a reason to live.

76 shares on Slack this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

60 shares on Discord this month:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Making waves on YouTube:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Trending via WeChat:

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Just shared via YouTube:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Making waves on WeChat:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Just landed via Facebook:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Making waves on Messenger:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone you haven’t talked to in forever will show up in your dream just to do a backflip.

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨