Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I hate interviewing. Just hire me. I stand on business, for real.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,507

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Spotted on Instagram:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Trending via Pinterest:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Horoscope: Many good things are in store for you! Unfortunately, the store is closed for repairs.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Just landed via Facebook:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Just landed via Threads:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Making waves on YouTube:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”

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It’s always “your monthly bill is available,” never “this month is on us.”
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Commentary:
Guess my bank prefers laughter over generosity 🤣💸 Wouldn't mind a surprise "on the house" alert!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on TikTok this month:

A fabric tomato filled with needles. Don’t see that much anymore.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

26 shares on X this month:

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

30 shares on Discord this month:

This summer I’m going cicada mode: emerging briefly from my house and being really loud until I find a mate.

99 shares on Threads this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,288

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Making waves on Snapchat:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Making waves on Threads:

Shout-out to my embarrassingly squeaky ass bed frame that makes me sound more popular than I actually am to my neighbors.

Trending via Twitch:

Someone asked me if I had any hobbies and I panicked and said “lasagna”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

According to this box of macaroni and cheese, I am an entire family.

Seen just now on Slack:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

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