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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,486

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Making waves on Instagram:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Just landed via YouTube:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Trending via Discord:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Spotted on Twitch:

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

Shared recently on Discord:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Trending via Pinterest:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

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It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.
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Commentary:
When you're so shocked that someone hot likes you, you start questioning if you accidentally became a celebrity overnight! 🌟😱🔥

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on X this month:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

48 shares on Twitch this month:

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

74 shares on Facebook this month:

I think God was high when he made me.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

When people block me, I just assume it’s for my rugged good looks and killer jawline.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Half princess, half menace.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,417

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

January-me would not believe the life I lived this year.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Girls be like, “I hate this man,” then have sex with him.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Just shared via Telegram:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

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