I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If you call me “daddy” in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I don’t get involved in anyone’s business, let alone their drama. You should try it.