Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Sometimes I shower in the dark and pretend I’m in a rainforest on an alien planet.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Trending via X:

There has been a British voice in my head saying, “Bit sad innit,” for the past few weeks.

Going viral on TikTok:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Spotted on Pinterest:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Making waves on X:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

1 week ago

Humorous text about losing a job for thinking about donuts, playful and witty.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like their brains were on a sugar rush instead of a thought-provoking one! 🍩🤔 Nothing like thinking about those delicious, doughy circles to get you thinking outside the box! Who knew donuts could be such a dangerous distraction at a think tank? 😂 #DonutDisruption

donuts, humor, job, just, layoff, snack, tank, think, think tank, thinking, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Instagram this month:

Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

49 shares on X this month:

Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

48 shares on X this month:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

66 shares on Threads this month:

My new diet plan is to hibernate and live off all this fat I’ve accumulated.

96 shares on Threads this month:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Not being able to teleport is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,541

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick one person you hate, and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

So blunt, you can smoke my truth.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Spotted on WeChat:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Live now on X:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

Trending via X:

Just once I’d like to hear a doctor say, “Your guess is as good as mine.”

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Just shared via Snapchat:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Trending via WeChat:

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

Just landed via Telegram:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Spotted on Instagram:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

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