Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m so thankful I had a childhood before technology took over.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My girlfriend just had a go at me for not glistening, whatever that is.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Spotted on Threads:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Just shared via Telegram:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Oh, you’re extending your sale? Your Black Friday sale that ended on Tuesday? You’re extending it?

Shared recently on TikTok:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Going viral on Facebook:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Me at war: 'Anyone up for a little early retreat?' 🏃‍♂️💨 #StrategicExitStrategy"

bit, conflict, early, guys, humor, i, irony, leave, me, mind, request, timing, today, war, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Men are very good at being women lately.

0

1 month ago

being, gender, good, humor, men, stereotype, woman, women
Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, chip, chips, conflict, divorce, eating, humor, potato, potato chip, relationship, snack, spouse, try, TV, watch
As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

0

2 months ago

back, beer, drink, humor, i, science, soon, sun, want, weather
Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, mind, mind reader, playful, question, reader, wit
A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, behavior, big, car, cars, deep, driving, driving behavior, frustration, humor, i, last, last second, parking, parking space, peeve, people, pet, pet peeve, second, small, small car, space, spot, think
If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

0

3 months ago

barking, behavior, dog, gold, gold medal, humor, medal, nothing, Olympic, Olympic sport, pet, pet behavior, sport, win

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

61 shares on TikTok this month:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The rainforest cafe won’t be authentic enough for me if they don’t bulldoze 40% of the restaurant while I’m there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Donnie Darko was also ahead of its time because the guy’s haunted by a giant Labubu.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

There’s nothing I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Making waves on Facebook:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Spotted on X:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Breaking via Messenger:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Men are very good at being women lately.

Most divorces are caused by a spouse eating potato chips while you try to watch TV.

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Here’s a question for all the mind readers out there.

A big F*** YOU to people driving small cars and pulling deep into parking spaces so I think I have a spot until the last second.

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨