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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,606

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Making waves on X:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Going viral on Threads:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Spotted on Threads:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Breaking via Instagram:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Shared recently on YouTube:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Just shared via Slack:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your cat's taking some serious lessons in grumpiness from old Garfield 🐱💤🍝 #FelineMoody

bad, behavior, cat, cats, day, eating, funny observation, mood, observation, pet, pet behavior, sleeping

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

1 month ago

better, conspiracy, conspiracy theory, favorite, humor, irony, optimism, sarcasm, theory, things
Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

1 month ago

aging, favorite, favorite item, getting, getting older, having, humor, item, older, pen, preferences, stationery
AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

2 months ago

abuse, Airbnb, experience, filled, financial, financial abuse, fun, humor, lodging, rules, stranger, travel, want
If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

1 month ago

answer, dating, humor, millionaire, money, people, relationships, sarcasm, single, someone
What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

1 month ago

buy, clueless, day, gift, humor, i, idea, likes, love, misunderstanding, once, relationship, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day, wife
I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

1 month ago

actor, comedy, fitness, gain, hate, humor, i, irony, pounds, realize, role, weight

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Making waves on X:

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Making waves on Snapchat:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

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Activity Log ✨

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

My love language is deader than Latin.

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Getting into male-dominated fields like falling asleep on the couch.

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

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My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Part of getting older is having a favorite pen.

AirBnB is fun for when you want to be financially abused by a stranger with a binder filled with rules.

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

What can I buy my wife for Valentine’s Day that finally proves to her once and for all that I have absolutely no idea what she likes or who she is?

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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